Brian Coleman writes: Yo GS. OK, you asked for it. Here's the full text of my email interviews done with the Hawd boys in the Winter/Spring of 1998 (they had only had a song or two out at the time, so that's why I was asking them more basic and specific shit, like how their names were spelled, etc.). It's all a jumbled mess, but you can probably make some sense out of it. As I recall, they wouldn't talk to me on the phone, so I emailed them all the same set of questions (or almost the same set). I copied and pasted the emails in a document (thankfully). Let me know if you have questions, or anything's unclear (if it is, it's probably 'cause they wanted it that way, those sick mfs). [..] God save us all. bri c ============================================================= New York Press April 1998 Monthly Music Supplement Hawd Gankstuh Rappuh Emsees Wid Ghatz Interviews.... ============================= GUY ALBINO: Date: Wed, 18 Mar 1998 12:59:20 +0000 Subject: Re: Hawd Questions For Hawd Gangkstuhs * First off, is your "stage name" Guy Albino or God Albino (I've seen it written both ways)? MY MOTHER NAMED ME, BUT ISLAM DEIFIED ME. * Please list the other group members with their correct spellings (Fly Bot Van Damn and Duke Crapmore, right?), and what role each of you plays in the group as a whole (meaning, do different people focus on different parts of what you do, or is it fully collaborative?) PHLEYE PBHOT IS LIKE THE FAT GIRL WITH DIRTY SOCKS YOU FIND SLEEPING IN YOUR REPTILE'S SHEDDED SKINSHELL,BUT YOU STILL THINK THAT SHE LOOKS AIIGHT DOE, SO YOU DON'T SPRAY AEROSOL BUTTER ON HER FACE NECK BREAST AND CHEST. AND THEN DOOKE IS THE TYPE OF DOODE THAT USES ALL MY LOTION AND DON'T SAY SHIT ABOUT IT AND THEN GO AND SAY HE WAS IN THE EXTREME GAMES GETTING JIGGY WIT STREET LOUGE THAT DAY SO I'D SAY HE'S THE MOTHERFUCKER WHOO BEPLAYING ALL THE ROLES FOR THE REST OF US. AS FOR ME I DID'NT DO SHIT AND NOONE CAN PROVE THAT I DID. I HAVE COLLECTIONS OF THINGS THAT DO'NT BELONG TOGETHER AND THAT'S NO CRIME EVERYBODY ON THE TRAIN LOCS AT ME LIKE I GOT SHIT SMEARED ON MY HOODIE FUCK THIS QUESTION. * How long have you been making tracks? How long has the group been together? IVE BEEN ON THE RUN ALL MY LIFE. BUT SERIOUSLY, THE CUT FROM SUB HITZ 1 WAS MADE IN '94 THERE ARE A FEW LOST GEMS FROM '93 THAT MIGHT RESURFACE BUT ONLY IF THE SITE OF THE ALBEE SQUARE MALL IS FULLY EXCAVATED. * How old are you guys? STREETLEGAL IN DOGYEARS * What inspired you to form the group? How did it all start? DRUGS LIKE DEXTROMETHORPIN HYDROBROMIDE. MOSTLY OVER THE COUNTER STUFF.WE WOULD GO INTO TRANCE TO INVOKE THE HEQUETA SPIRITS INTO THE GREAT HOUSE INSIDE OUR CHESTS. CONVULSION AND PROFUSE VOMITING FOLLOWED .WE STARTED RECORDING THESE RITUALS AND IT CAUGHT ON IN OUR VILLAGE, AND THEN WHEN RIVAL TRIBES STARTED BOOTLEGGING OUR SHIT, WE SLASHED AND BURNED ALL THE MASTER TAPES BEFORE THEY COULD BE EXPLOITED BY RETARDED SOCIOLOGISTS. * Have you been in other groups? Were they similar or different? FLYBOT AND THE DUKE WERE WRITING A BROADWAY MUSICAL CALLED "IT'S RAININ' GOLD TEEF/THE LIFE AND TIMES OF JUST-ICE",AND AT THAT TIME I WAS GETTING VERY RELIGIOUS AND ALSO VERY STUPID SO I GOT DOWN WITH "ASS TOAST NATION". SHOUT OUTS TO THE BUTTERMAN,SMOOTH ENDOPLASMIC RETICULUM AND MEKANECK THE TRANSVESTITE FUCKER.IN '92 WE PUT OUT 2 CUTS ON THE ORGASMO COMPILATION "CAVALCADE OF THUGS" MORE ON THAT LATER... * What equipment do you record your music on? Where? WE STARTED MAKING BEATS OUT OF THE BACK OF OUR ICE CREAM TRUCK. PEOPLE DON'T KNOW IT BUT THE MUSIC BOXES IN THOSE TRUCKS HAVE 808 BASS. TO RECORD, WE WOULD CALL FLYBOT'S MOM'S ANSWERING MACHINE IN ST.JOSEPH,MICHIGAN AND RAP LIVE FROM INSIDE THE TRUCK AND HAVE HER MAIL THE TAPE BACK TO US.THEN WE WOULD PUT COPIES OF OUR TAPE IN THE CREAMY CENTERS OF OUR GOOD HUMOR PRODUCTS AND SELL THE FUNKY KNOWLEDGE TO THE CHILDREN. BUT NOW THAT WE'RE SO PAID WE HAVE OUR OWN ANSWERING MACHINE. * How would you describe your music? FAKE RAP "KEEPING IT FAKE" * How many tracks do you have that are ready to be released? Are they similiar to the two from "Subterranean Hitz" 1 & 2? WE ARE SCHEDULED TO DROP 4 BANGERS ON YA(10" VINYL) THIS SUMMER AND TWO ARE IN THE WORKS NOW. WHO KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK IT IS. ONLY THE HEQUITA SPIRITS CAN TELL. I CAN TELLYOU ONE THING. WE BRINGING OUT TWO NEW GROUPS OF UNDER AGE AND BARELY LEGAL KIDS. WALTER A.K.A. TEACHER'S PET AND STAN,STAN THE NAME BRAND MAN ARE STRAIGHT OUT OF ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. * Depending on how much you've recorded (following from the last question), I'm curious about how serious you are about the group as it presently exists? In other words, is this a side project to other stuff you do (I know you do film and graf stuff also) or do you want to release albums in the future and continue on with the Hawd Gangkstuhs until you get signed to a five-album major label deal, develop "mo money, mo problems" issues and go through internal conflicts within the group over how many tens of thousands to spend on a new jacuzzi and sauna for your tour bus? IT DOES'NT MATTER HOW MUCH WE'VE RECORDED OR HOW MANY SIDE PROJECTS THERE ARE BECAUSE WE ALREADY HATE EACHOTHER'S GUTS. WHEN WE GOT OUR FIRST CHECK I JUST KEPT THAT SHIT AND DID'NT SPLIT UP JACK. WORD UP. NOONE KNEW TIL NOW. I KNOW THOSE GUYS WILL WANT TO FUCK ME UP OVER THAT BUTI BET THEY ALSO WISH THEY DID IT TO ME FIRST SO YO WHATEVER. RIGHT NOW MORE SUCCESS WILL JUST MAKE US ANGRY. I'M INTO IT. * Have you ever performed live? ONCE LAST SUMMER AT A BETSY HEAD PUBLIC POOL PARTY IN BROWNSVILLE,BKLN. * What do you guys do for "day gigs" to pay the rent? Tell me about your film work (Skiz said you were doing a video for "Pillars Of Smoke")... CRAP MO IS A WORLD RENOWNED MERCENARY SKINNY DIPPER AND FLY BOT CARVES HEADSTONES AT A CHINESE MORTUARY. SOMETIMES THEY LET HIM DO ELABORATE LATTICEWORK AND SOME PORTRAIT WORK, BUT MOSTLY LETTERING (CHARACTERS).I MYSELF MAKE CHILDRENS CLOTHES OUT OF CHILDREN AND SELL THEM BACK TO OTHER CHILDREN AT FULTON MALL. ALL I HAD TO DO WAS SEW HILFIGGER TAGS ON THE STUFF AND IT STARTED SELLING LIKE MAD. -FILM IS A HOBBY OF MINE WHICH I HOPE TO HAVE MORE TIME TO DO, THATS WHY DOING PILLARS OF SMOKE IS A GOOD COMBO OF INTERESTS. DEFINITELY. * How did you hook up with Skiz and WordSound? What do you think of the WordSound label as a whole? Who are some of your favorite artists on it? PRINCE CHARMING, ANOTHER WORDSOUND LABEL MATE WHO WAS BEHIND THE AFOREMENTIONED ORGASMO COMPILATION GAVE OUR SHIT TO SKIZ AND WAS PUSHING IT HEAVILY.(SPECDOOPAW) WORDSOUND IS THE ONLY LABEL THAT I WOULD'VE WANTED TO PUT OUR SHIT OUT ON. ANYONE ELSE WOULD'VE KILLED THE VIBE. "nice demo, now we'll hook you up wth 64 tracks and you can do it all over again real clean and dirty " SURE PAL. RIGHT NOW NO LABEL IS AS DIVERSE OR PRODUCTIVE AS WORDSOUND 3RD ANSWER: TORTURE, SENSATIONAL, PERFECTION, MY BOY DJ ADAM X SEZ THERES A TOUCH OF TECHNO SOUND EFFECTS FLOATING IN ALL THAT BASS. * How do you want people to approach your stuff: with a sense of humor, or do you want them to take it seriously and then be very, very afraid? TAKE WHAT YOU WANT FROM IT. THERE IS TRUTH IN EVERYFUCKINJOKE.BE SHITTING. * I would, of course, have to assume that you're poking fun at the cartoonish nature of Gangsta rap, with your name and lyrical subject matter. How do you feel about most mainstream rap these days? DIFFERENT GALAXY,NEXT QUESTION * What kind of music do you guys listen to? I LISTEN TO MY NEIGHBORS FUCK.SOMETIMES THEY ARGUE AND SING ALONG TO LATIN FREESTYLE IT'S DEFINITELY THE JAM. "LOVELETTERS" * What is the general reaction you've gotten to your music so far? DIFFERENT GALAXY,NEXT QUESTION OR "OF COURSE" * What song would you loop if you were ever called upon to do a remix for Puff Daddy? DID YOU EVER HEAR THE MICKEY MOUSE CLUB THEME SONG? SING IT TO YOURSELF. * Anyone you'd like to work with that you haven't? ARSENIO HALL SEEMS LIKE A GOOD PARTNER * What are some of your influences, musical and otherwise? HEQUITA SPIRITS RULE THE HOUSE IN MY CHEST * Do you have any specific goals in mind when making your tracks? I'LL ASK FLYBOT (dialing)HE SAYS " WHEN ARE WE GOING ON A CRUISE SHIP?" (HE DO'NT UNNERSTAND)I PERSONALLY JUST CLOSE MY EYES AND THINK OF THE COLOR GOLD * Do you think you fit into the hip-hop scene right now, or are you consciously trying to exist outside of it? WE KEEP TRYING TO FIT IN BUT I THINK OUR BUTTS ARE JUST TOO BIG & CHUBBY WE DO'NT MIND EXISTING OUTSIDE, OUR EXTRA LAYER OF PHAT WILL KEEP US WARM * What are your plans for the future? Any other releases coming up? 444444444SSSSSSOOOONNNNGGG EEEEEPPPPP!!!! * Do you have any unreleased/upcoming tracks you can send me (I'd need them by Saturday to help with this piece, but I'd LOVE to hear anything you've got)?SENDING A COUPLE OLD JAMS TOMORROW (THURS) * How do you want the Hawd Gangkstuhs to be viewed, generally? FROM THE BACK * Any final comments, to the world at large? DO'NT BE AFRAID. EVERY THING WE SAY HAS ALREADY BEEN THUNK BY YOU, BUT IN THE FUTURE WHEN YOU HAVE REALISED THAT THERE IS REALLY ONLY ONE IDEA THAT EXISTS IN THE UNIVERSE. ============================= DUKE CRAPMORE: Date: Sun, 22 Mar 1998 03:12:24 -0700 MIME-Version: 1.0 Subject: DUKE CRAPMORE REPLY SIR BRIAN, CRAPMORE HERE TO GIVE MY LINES. MY MARTINI SOAKED BRAIN IS HAVING A HAWD TIME WORKIN PROPER SO BEAR WIT ME. * IT'S DUKE CRAPMORE(RULER OF ALL M.C.'S LESSER) * I BEEN LAYIN TRACKS SINCE THE FIRST ONE * I'M 25 * FUCK IF I REMEMBER BACK TO SNOOP DOGS LAST ALBUM, SO i CANT REMEMBER WHAT STARTED THIS SHIT . ALL I REMEMBER IS I WAS RIGHTIN A MUSICAL WIT FLYBOT( CALLED "IT'S RAININ GOLD TEETH") AND THEN WE WAS ON WAX. * DESCRIBE OUR MUSIC? IT'S LIKE WATCHIN A PORN STARRIN RON JEREMY- IT'S SO UGLY CRAZY SICK YOU JUST CANT IGNORE IT. * NUMBER OF TRACKS- ASK ONE OF THEM OTHER FOOLS * WE ALL DO OTHER SHIT, BUT IT'S ALL EQUAL IN IT'S IMPORTANCE. I AM WORKIN ON TRAINING 23 PIT BULLS TO BARK OUT NEUCLEUS' " JAM ON IT" LIKE THAT CHRISTMAS BARKIN CHRISTMAS SONG. IF WE START MAKIN THE DOLLARS I'LL JUST OFF THOSE OTHER FOOLS AND GET A BIGGER CUT. * IF WE HAVE PERFORMED LIVE I WAS TOO DUSTED TO REMEMBER. * I'M A PIE EATING HUSTLER. I GO TO FAIRS AND SHIT, LOOKIN ALL SICK AND SKINNY AND POUND THOSE BITCHES DOWN ONE PIE , TWO PIES, THREE PIES,....... THEN COLLECT MY FUNDS. * I TOTALY DIG THAT WORDSOUND SHIT, ALL OF IT, EVEN THAT CRAZY SOUNDIN HEAD THAT TALKS AT THE BEGININ OF THE SUB HITS, REMINDS ME OF MY MOMS. * DONT BE AFRAID OF OUR MUSIC, BE AFRAID OF US. * HELL YA I BE MAKIN FUN OF THE G-RAPPERS, I SAY THOSE BITCHES GOT TO GATHER UP SO MANY OF THEY DUMB ASSES TO BE ILL, ALL I DO IS EXIST AN I'M CAUSIN MORE TERROR TO THIS COUNTRY THAN THESE FOOLS. *I LISTEN TO ALL KINDS OF MUSIC, BUT I MOST LIKE TO LISTEN TO SHIT LIKE MY NEIGBORS APPARTMENT GETTIN ROBBED, OR AN OLD DUDE GETTIN BEAT DOWN, THATS MY FAVORITE SHIT. *I THINK IT GOES STRAIGHT OVER 90% OF ALL PEOPLES HEADS. PEOPLE USUALLY DONT SAY SHIT ABOUT OUR MUSIC, THEY JUST FUCKIN MACE ME. *THE SONG I WOULD LOOP WOULD HAVE TO BE THE "SOUND OF MUSIC" AT 16 RPM. * YA THERE IS SOMEONE I'D LIKE TO WORK WITH. JOHN CANDY. I KNOW HES DEAD AND SHIT, BUT I'D LIKE TO DIG HIM UP AND SIT HIM IN A CORNER WITH A MIC AND JUST KICK HIM IN THE FUCKIN CHEST, OVER AND OVER. THAT BOY GOTTA HAVE SOME SERIOUS BASS TO HIM. *INFLUENCES? FRANK SINATRA, END OF SUBJECT. *MY GOALS ARE DO IT ONE TIME AND GET BACK TO MY WEED AND BY BITCHES, I CANT WASTE MY TIME. IT COMES OUT SLAMMIN THE FIRST TIME, ALWAYS. SO DONT FUCK WIT IT. *I DONT THINK WE FIT IN ANYWWHERE AND NEVER WILL, BUT YOU WILL FOR SURE SEE A LOT OF OTHERS TRYIN TO BE US.; *I'M DONE WITH MY STINT HERE IN AZ. SO I'M HEADIN TO CHICAGO, EAT SOME HOT DOGS OR SOMETHIN. *FINAL COMENT- IF WE DONT GO DOWN IN RAP HISTORY, ILL GO DOWN ON OPRAH. ITS MY GUARRANTY THAT THE HAWD GANKSTUH RAPPUH EMCEES WIT GATZ WILL BE THE WORD TILL THE CITIES CRUMBLE. MY SKIN IS OOZING VERMOOTH NOW AND I'VE PUKED IN MY LAP TWICE NOW, BUT WITH ALL THIS DRY DESERT AIR IT TURNS INTO CRISPIES PRETTY QUICK. SEND ME A COPY OF THE ARTICLE, IF YOU CAN: DUKE CRAPMORE [address removed] HOPE ITS ON TIME BRO. TOYUH, DUKE CRAPMORE ============================= FLY-BOT VAN DAMN: Date: Fri, 20 Mar 1998 22:38:17 -0800 Subject: Re: Hawd Questions For Hawd Gangkstuhs > >* First off, please give me the correct way you want your "stage name" >written (I've seen it hyphenated in different places, so I want to get it >correct).FLY-BOT VAN DAMN > > >* What role does each of you play in the group as a whole (meaning, do >different people focus on different parts of what you do, or is it fully >collaborative?) me and Guy Albino have to lure Duke into the studio with >meat and beers and some newspapers, so he has something to shred in his >mouth before he goes on the mic. He usually puts his rhyme in the middle >of the song. I don't know why. > >* How long have you been making tracks? How long has the group been together? >Weve been making tracks that are like 6 minutes long. That works out to >like 675 feet of tape I think. >Weve been together since I was in diapers, and I dont really talk about >how long ago that actually was. >* How old are you guys? I dont know. Crapmore I think is like not even >twenty years old but he looks like a fucking old lady. I my own self am >just the opposite. > > >* What inspired you to form the group? How did it all start? It started >when we were into drinking lots of different chemicals and shit. Some of >the shit we tried really burnt our throat, like Armor-All. then we >settled on Dexomethophraxyl Hydrogelatin Silicate or whatever that shit >is. It made us really fucked up ,and we would end up going "hey, let's go >in the alley and rap!" we would ususlly end up punching each other >unconcious. > > >* Have you been in other groups? Were they similar or different? >One time we were in a group called Sammich Hut. We broke up because the >garbage cans and stolen car horns we used to make beats with were too loud >to rhyme over. > >* What equipment do you record your music on? Where? > We once made a record by attatcing needles to a subwoofer and >spinning a piece of vinyl in front of it. We couldn't sell them because >they wernt perfectly round and they were like two feet across. > >* How would you describe your music? >its goes thru like a red hot diarrhea > >* How many tracks do you have that are ready to be released? Are they >similiar to the two from "Subterranean Hitz" 1 & 2? >like i said we released one but you cant play it on a regular record >player. It was called "Hail to tha muthafuckin' boat bitch, yee-ah" We >also did a track with Cypress Hill called "sometimes I feel tender" > >* Depending on how much you've recorded (following from the last question), >I'm curious about how serious you are about the group as it presently >exists? In other words, is this a side project to other stuff you do or do >you want to release albums in the future and continue on with the Hawd >Gangkstuhs until you get signed to a five-album major label deal, develop >"mo money, mo problems" issues and go through internal conflicts within >the group over how many tens of thousands to spend on a new jacuzzi and >sauna for your tour bus. All right, that's real fuckin fnny. Let me >just kick it on down, bust3er. That fuckin BITCH-ASS Guy Albino straight >up flew to Mixchigan and mugged me in my own house right after I got my >first ten grand from Wordsound. Him and his wife came in and nailed my >sleeves and pants to the floor so I couldnt move and they took all my >fuckin cash and mastercards and they took a piss on me. > > >* Have you ever performed live? We dont because we smoke so much chronic >that our mouths constantly too full of cereal and oreos. > > >* What do you guys do for "day gigs" to pay the rent? >I make gravestones. > >* How did you hook up with Skiz and WordSound? What do you think of the >WordSound label as a whole? Who are some of your favorite artists on it? >I still never met Skiz. Neither has Crapmore, I don't think. Im not sure >I belive he really exists > >* How do you want people to approach your stuff: with a sense of humor, or >do you want them to take it seriously and then be very, very afraid? I >don't think I've ever seen anything funny about anything. I guess the >only thing that's funny is going to the bathroom. > > >* I would, of course, have to assume that you're poking fun at the >cartoonish nature of Gangsta rap, with your name and lyrical subject >matter. How do you feel about most mainstream rap these days? >Its not Gangsta, It's Gankstuh. That's some original shit we came up with >on our own. And I think of us as pretty mainstream anyway. > >* What kind of music do you guys listen to? >the music store in my area has a section in it called "fake rap" that's >where I get most of my records from. > >* What is the general reaction you've gotten to your music so far from >people who have heard it? They say its dope > > >* What song would you loop if you were ever called upon to do a remix for >Puff Daddy? I would loop one of his own songs, but play it back a lot >faster and add more samples of barking dogs and shit. > > >* Anyone you'd like to work with that you haven't? >Puff Daddy > >* What are some of your influences, musical and otherwise? >my influence comes from envoking the musical language which flows forth of >the hequeda spirits. They come to settle in the Great House I have in my >chest. > >* Do you have any specific goals in mind when making your tracks? >I guess I'm just in love with the sea. I want to learn to swim, >yaknowwhatI'msayin' > >* Do you think you fit into the hip-hop scene right now, or are you >consciously trying to exist outside of it? (for some reason, this >question is all fucked up loo8king on tHis comput5r. I cant rE%%ad it. >Sorry, Brian.}]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]innup RAD8k. h.ui8ii.66 \]\01010101000101000010.10100001001.0101010l.001010100]] > > >* What are your plans for the future? Any other releases coming up? >I'm going on a graffiti rampage in bathrooms > >* Do you have any unreleased/upcoming tracks you can send me? >You'll be hearing it boomin from every jeep, real soon. > > >* How do you want the Hawd Gangkstuhs to be viewed, generally? >From the back > >* Any final comments, to the world at large? >'sup 'sup 'sup yo. > >* Can I get a phone number for Duke Crapmore? I'd like to hook up with him >as well. Duke lives out in Arizona, in the desert. He belongs to this >group that teaches you how to live out in the fucking wilds and shit. >They live in burrows under the sand and shit >